…especially when you live with ADHD!
You may find yourself rushing through the mall to the strains of Michael Buble’s “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” or “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” sung by Andy Williams.

Christmas IS a wonderful time of the year, but for those of us who live with ADHD it isn’t always so “Holly, Jolly.” According to ADHD coach Sandy Maynard, surveys show that women with ADHD are the most likely to experience stress during the holiday season. With the added stressors, self-care often takes a back seat. We may not be eating in a healthy way, exercising, getting enough sleep, or simply allowing ourselves enough time to reboot.

Consider the Spoon Theory
The spoon theory may offer a framework that helps us cope during stressful seasons of life. The spoon theory was written by Christine Miserandino as a way to explain how her chronic illness, lupus, depleted her energy on a daily basis. At a diner with a friend, Christine used a visual to help her friend understand what it was like to live with a chronic illness. She grabbed 12 spoons. Laying them out on the table, she said that each spoon represented an available unit of energy. For example, getting out of bed was 1 spoon. Getting showered and dressed used 2 spoons. Understandably, by the end of the workday, she might only have 1 spoon left, which determined if she was up to cooking or had to order take-out for dinner. In other words, her energy supply was limited.

ADHD Spoons
Likewise, people with ADHD have only so many spoons, given the cognitive demands that impact every area of life. A great deal of energy goes into life on a daily basis and the holidays add on more. What if there were ways to not only conserve energy, but to actually give us energy?

Michelle Novotni, Ph.D., states “tasks and actions require more energy from neurodiverse brains, leading to more spoon shortages. How we conserve or expend energy is vital to our daily decisions. With habits, that is, acquired behavioral patterns that have become automatic, the ADHD gaps in our day close up.”  So, for example, if you are able to manage time, you will know exactly how long it takes to get out the door and how long it takes to drive to work. The time estimate then becomes automatic. You know that if you allow 45 minutes, you will not be late. Contrast this with running out the door at the last minute, worrying at each red light, stressing out that you won’t get there on time. Then, you run inside, hoping that no one notices how late you really are! Stress has a high price tag and will most definitely TAKE AWAY spoons!

There are other healthy habits that can actually increase our energy, such as getting exercise or a good night’s sleep. Added to the daily routine, these habits can ADD more spoons to our day! 

What can I do now?
Try one of the following habits this week, and see if it adds any more spoons to your day.

• Do a Mind Map: Mind mapping can be a powerful ADHD tool in getting all of the pieces of a complex project out of your head and onto one piece of paper. After mind-mapping, it becomes easy to create a list. New to mind mapping? Learn more.
• Make a List and Check it Twice: Create a daily plan with a time for each task that you plan to do. Review it the night before or in the morning. It is what researcher Russell Barkley calls “mentally rehearsing.”  A pre-made plan cuts down on stress!
• Be good to you:  Choose one self-care non-negotiable during the holiday season, such as sleep or exercise. Something has to give with all of the extras, but keeping one aspect of self-care can go a long way in helping you get over the finish line.
• Be Selective:  Consider what the holidays mean to you. Choose to celebrate the traditions that you value the most, as opposed to trying to do everything that someone else does.
• Sidestep Perfection:  Decide what is good enough. A job done is better than a perfect one unfinished. As the saying goes, “If what you want is progress, then skip perfection.”

​Be intentional as you celebrate the season and enter the new year. And remember to dish yourself up a spoonful of holiday cheer!
​
For support in managing time and energy, schedule a free coaching session.
 
Links
ADDitude Magazine: Happy Holidays, Really!, Sandy Maynard, M.S.
YouTube: The Spoon Theory, written and spoken by Christine Miserandino
butyoudontlooksick.com  (website of Christine Miserandino)
ADDitude Magazine: The Antidote to ADHD Fatigue and Exhaustion, Stacking Habits (and Spoons) - Michele Novotni, Ph.D.

ADHD, one of the most prevalent and misunderstood conditions in the world, may have affected you or someone you love. If so, then ADHD has touched your life.

Every October, ADHD organizations unite to raise awareness about this highly treatable condition. This year’s theme for ADHD awareness month is “Understanding a Shared Experience.”

ADHD is Real

While the subject of ADHD has sparked disagreement over the years, clinical research studies have proven that ADHD is real! 

Every mainstream medical, psychological, and educational organization in the U.S. long ago concluded that ADHD is a real, brain-based disorder. They also concluded that children and adults with ADHD benefit from appropriate treatment.

A Long History

ADHD was first described in 1795 by the German physician Melchior Adam Weikart in his medical text book in a chapter titled, “Deficits.” It was studied extensively in the 1970s with over 10,000 scientific papers published on the disorder.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder affecting between 9-11% of school-aged children and almost 5% of all adults. ADHD, AD/HD and ADD all refer to the same disorder, the only difference being that some have hyperactivity and others don’t.

According to the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 5th Edition, the ADHD diagnostic subtypes are the primarily inattentive presentation, primarily hyperactive impulsive presentation, and the combined presentation.

Challenges of ADHD

Challenges people with ADHD face may include hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention, as well as the belief that they can’t reach their goals because of their ADHD.  Individuals may struggle with difficulties at school and work, time management, distractions, procrastination, disorganization, paper nightmares, emotional outbursts, poor planning, losing things, unfinished projects, household chores, and sensory processing issues.

ADHD by the Numbers

ADHD is not a behavioral disorder. It is a disorder of self-regulation and frequently can be a hidden disorder. Individuals may experience upwards of a 30% developmental delay in age-appropriate skills and emotional development. For example, a 10-year-old may act more like a 7-year-old. Most children, teens, and adults with ADHD have trouble with executive function, a set of cognitive skills needed for self-control and managing behaviors. Up to 70% of children with ADHD have at least one other coexisting condition, such as a learning or language disorder, anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). We know that 90% will struggle academically. Up to 67% of children will carry ADHD into adulthood, and the family impact is often significant. According to the National Resource Center on ADHD, one quarter to one half of parents of children with ADHD suffer from a sleep disorder.

In some cases, the coexisting conditions are “secondary” to ADHD, meaning that they are triggered by the frustration of living with ADHD, according to Dr. Larry Silver, clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown Medical Center in Washington, D.C. A person may have clinical anxiety, but in addition struggle with situational anxiety that comes from the inability to manage their ADHD symptoms.

The Importance of Diagnosis

No single test diagnoses ADHD. A comprehensive evaluation by a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist, is necessary to establish the diagnosis and to rule out other causes. A complete evaluation will include a comprehensive history, ADHD symptom checklists, a standard behavioral rating scale, screening for possible coexisting conditions, a review of past evaluations and school records, and psychometric testing as seen necessary by the clinician. It is the individuals who seek help, embracing their ADHD, that go on to experience success. The good news is that you are identifying the problem. ADHD gets smaller and the rest of your life gets bigger!

How to Treat ADHD

When speaking about the treatment of ADHD, the key word is multimodal. This means that the best outcomes occur when many interventions work together as part of a comprehensive treatment plan. A team approach may include medication, parent training, behavioral Intervention such as cognitive behavioral therapy, exercise, academic and work support, ADHD education, ADHD coaching and connecting oneself to the ADHD community.
We know that ADHD is a performance deficit, not an intelligence deficit. It is important that we maintain not only a strength-based approach, but a disability perspective.  Having ADHD does not equal “being” ADHD! ADHD is one of the most treatable disorders in psychiatry. With early identification and treatment, children, adolescents, and adults with ADHD can be among the most successful.

RESOURCES
​

• ADHD Awareness Month.org  
• CHADD is the premier association for families and adults with ADHD.  Membership includes the latest information on treatment, education, and rights for people with ADHD.  It links one to others living with ADHD and engages in federal and state advocacy on behalf of all people with ADHD.
• The National Resource Center on ADHD, also run by CHADD, is the national clearinghouse of information and resources on ADHD. Information from the NRC is reliable, scientific, research- and evidence-based.
• The Attention Deficit Disorder Organization: ADDA is an advocacy organization for adults with ADHD. Contact them today!
• ADDitude Magazine is an outstanding quarterly publication for families and adults with ADHD. Contact ADDitude and receive a free magazine.
• “When it’s not just ADHD: Symptoms of comorbid conditions” Dr. Larry Silver, M.D. 

ADD Joy of Life Coaching, LLC is a strength-based company dedicated to empowering young people and adults to experience success with ADHD through coaching, education and resources. Discover where your ADHD shows up AND what to do about it.

                                                Call or Email today for your free consultation!
                                                             Cheryl.Gigler@addjoyoflife.com
                                                                         260.415.3412

                                                                   www.addjoyoflife.com

…or don’t quit before the miracle when you have ADHD!

Imagine my surprise when I received a magnificent hibiscus for my birthday!  It had beautiful green leaves and the most vibrant orange blooms. I placed it in a bright space where it could thrive. However, many of the leaves started turning yellow. Every day, it seemed, I was pulling off yellow leaves—and not just a few!

My brother-in-law, who has a background in horticulture, saw the plant and quickly identified the problem. “I think that the plant is in shock from having been moved from its original location in the store,” he said. I followed his suggestion to repot it in a wider pot and to put it outside in direct sunlight.

As time passed it stopped blooming and continued to drop leaves. I hoped that I hadn’t killed it, as it wasn’t looking very promising! Even though I could see more and more bare stalks, it was also apparent that tiny green leaves had sprouted on all of the stems. When we returned from vacation, the plant was once again lush and full of many blooms. I could hardly believe it!

Ten Lessons from the Hibiscus

My experience with the hibiscus shares similarities with the ADHD journey. Here are a few insights it offers:

1. Even though something or someone looks OK on the outside, they may be struggling on the inside.
2. Having a trained eye on a problem can make a huge difference. Instead of lamenting the dropped leaves, we can actually ask for help.
3. Sometimes we are just too root-bound for our own good. A change needs to happen to ensure success. Become bigger!
4. Put yourself in an optimal environment in which to thrive. Nothing was wrong with the hibiscus; it simply wasn’t in a favorable environment!
5. Stay in the game. Success might be right around the corner! Sometimes it is darkest before the dawn.
6. Believe in yourself and trust in the process.
7. Stay in action; you will see results.
8. There are incremental steps that contribute to crossing the finish line.
9. Your blooms might be bigger and brighter than you ever thought possible.
10. What appears to be a dead end can actually bring new life!

For partnership in creating lasting change, Enlist Support!

“If you don’t quit before the miracle happens, your perseverance will be rewarded! Whatever you’re walking through today, keep going!” - Angela Howell
         
“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” - Jacob Riis

“Don’t give up before the miracle happens.” - Fannie Flagg

“All things are difficult before they are easy.” - Thomas Fuller

“If we are growing, we are always going to be out of our comfort zone.” - John Maxwell

ADHD may be invisible, but its impact is real

Just because you can’t see inside the brain of people with ADHD doesn’t mean that they aren’t struggling in significant ways!

As I was traveling after a surgery that didn’t allow me to walk long distances, I got a glimpse of what life looks like from a wheelchair. For one thing, you are at the mercy of the person wheeling you. Secondly, it’s obvious to all that you have a physical problem going on. At least at the airport, most people make way for you, realizing that you have a problem.

That doesn’t happen for people who have ADHD.

Bystanders often have a hard time understanding why a person with ADHD is often late, procrastinates, seems disorganized, forgets important things, or acts flighty. They might conclude that the person is lazy or is using ADHD as an excuse. There’s a landmark book whose title speaks to this: “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!” by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo. Having ADHD is not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

You may have heard the phrase, “the brain doesn’t have a wheelchair.” In daily life, we can’t open up the front of a person’s brain to see the struggles going on inside. But invisible disabilities can be just as crippling as those needing a wheelchair.

The challenges that people with ADHD face are due to cognitive impairment. That is, the person has trouble with the part of the brain responsible for various thought processes. It is sort of like having a company without a CEO. ADHD researcher Dr. Thomas Brown likens it to having an orchestra without a conductor.

Outwardly, this might look like being “scattered.” People with ADHD might have trouble getting started, staying with a task long enough to finish it, or being able to stop doing one thing to start another. They may impulsively jump from thing to thing, struggle with doing homework or paperwork and have thousands of unfinished projects.


We now have accommodations by law that are designed to protect people with ADHD. This is because cognitive functioning—the ability to think—is now seen as affecting a major life activity, just like walking or seeing.

The ability to think, plan, or organize is necessary for various areas of life on a daily basis. Challenges in this area shows up in school, on the job, and at home.
Secondary students who have ADHD often struggle with paying attention, following directions, and completing homework assignments. College students might wrestle with managing time and breaking long-term projects into smaller, more achievable tasks. Working adults may grapple with being on time or meeting project deadlines. Entrepreneurs or homemakers with ADHD may lament their difficulty using time effectively in an unstructured environment.

Just because others can’t see your disability doesn’t mean you have to limp through life. Find support and encouragement from a certified ADHD coach. Set up a free consultation!

…when you have ADHD!
Are you a person with ADHD who is creative? There might be quite a bit of overlap between ADHD and creativity.
People with ADHD are naturally curious, impulsive, chaotic, sensitive and playful. Two core symptoms of ADHD, inattention and impulsiveness, suggest a connection between ADHD and creativity. Mind wandering and drifting can lead to new, useful, and creative ideas. Dr. Ned Hallowell, a world authority on ADHD, likes to say: “What is creativity but impulsivity gone right?”

What Characterizes a Creative Person?
Create people are always finding new ways to do things. They are the innovative problem solvers. Creativity might show up in obvious ways, such as painting or playing the piano: the big C. You may also be creative in lesser-known ways, such as driving home from work a new way every time: the little C. Creative personalities thrive on growth, change and novelty. They tend to get bored with anything that is boring or repetitive or that stays the same way for too long.

In the book, “Wired to Create,” authors Scott Barry Kaufman and Carolyn Gregoire suggest that three hallmarks of creativity are plasticity, divergence, and convergence. Plasticity involves exploring the novel with openness to new experience. Divergence calls for independent and non-conformist thinking. Convergence is the ability to conform with precision in a practical sense to make your ideas fly.

The authors go on to say that creative people have messy minds and messy processes. They also engage in rapidly switching thought processes, generating new ideas and expanding on existing ones.

Common threads in all creative fields are having a good read on one’s inner and outer life, heightened sensitivity, a high tolerance for disorder and disarray, unconventionality, a willingness to take risks and the ability to exact order from chaos, according to the late Frank Barron, a psychologist and researcher who studied the personalities of highly creative people in the 1950s and 1960s.
The challenge for all creative people is to be able to switch between the imagination network and rational ways of thinking.


Are People with ADHD more Creative?
It’s quite possible that people with ADHD are more creative, although there are some who say that there is no established link between ADHD and creativity. There are a number of ADHD characteristics that overlap with those of creative people.


Divergent Thinking
People with ADHD tend to be divergent thinkers. Divergent means the tendency to be different or to develop in different directions. People with ADHD have been recognized for out-of-the-box thinking. This might also be called lateral thinking, as we have had to come up with alternative ways to do things in order to be successful.

Divergent thinking is not the same thing as creativity, but people with the ability to think divergently have a larger capacity to be creative, according to the late Sir Ken Robinson, a British educator who explored the problems created by the lack of creativity in education.

“It’s the ability to see lots of possible answers to a question, lots of possible ways of interpreting a question,” Robinson says in the article, “ADHD: Pioneers of Divergent Thinking?” “To see multiple answers, not just one.”


Hyperfocus
A 2018 study showed that adults with ADHD had higher and more frequent episodes of hyperfocus when it came to hobbies, school and screen time. Similar to mind wandering, this ability is also extremely beneficial for creative and artistic tasks.


A Wide Lens of Attention
People with ADHD have a wide lens of attention, the ability to hyperfocus, take risks and make unobvious connections, writes Diane O’Reilly in Stifled Creativity and Its Impact on the ADHD Brain. “These are the essential traits that make up the ‘neurology’ of the creative mind,” she says, “and we have them in abundance.”

Highly Sensitive
Creative people tend to be highly sensitive, Kaufman and Gregoire write in Wired to Create, processing more sensory input in order to pick up more of what is going on in their internal and external environment.


Unconventional and Rejection Sensitive
The very traits that distinguish highly creative people, such as unconventionality makes them easy targets of rejection. Kaufman and Gregoire state that there is a high price to pay for being creative: tireless work, solitude, isolation, failure, and risk, as well as ridicule and rejection.


Challenges to Unleashing Creativity when You Have ADHD
Even though people with ADHD tend to be divergent thinkers naturally, there is also the need for convergence to bring any creative project across the finish line. Creative processes draw on the whole brain, both the imagination network and the executive function network. Insightful problem solving requires the ability to harness a mix of intuitive processes as well as analytical processes and the flexibility to switch between the two.

People with ADHD struggle with the prefrontal cortex, that part of the brain that is like the CEO of a company. Issues with the prefrontal cortex affect planning, prioritizing, time management, and task initiation. They also impair the ability to estimate time, sustain attention and pace oneself.


What Happens in the Brain When we are Creative?
Art enhances brain function by affecting brain-wave patterns, emotions and the nervous system, writes Merriam Sarcia Saunders. A marriage and family therapist, Saunders notes that art can raise serotonin levels, just by experiencing it. Actually creating art affects learning, motor skills, and attention, she writes in an article subtitled “How Art Builds Confidence.” Plus, there’s its meditative impact and the confidence that follows by solving problems in a unique way.

Music strengthens learning and impacts every area of the brain. Music builds auditory, visual/spatial strengths, the motor cortex. Like art, music has a calming effect on the nervous system. Music is linked to areas of speech and language, reading comprehension, problem solving, brain organization, focus, concentration and attention. For more on this subject, read “How Music Unlocked my Son’s ADHD Brain,” by Sharlene Habermeyer.


What Helps or Hurts Creativity?
In addition to art and music, creativity is enhanced by settings that are open and informal. The opposite is also true. Creativity can be shut down when there is pressure to get something done, when someone is breathing down your neck, when people around you are closed, rigid or judgmental. People with ADHD can have so many projects started and unfinished that it leads to shut down and overwhelm.


How Boost Your Creativity
Consider trying one of the following ideas, which appear in Jenny Garrett’s article: “23 Ways to Spark Your Creativity.”

• Set aside a few minutes a day to be creative.
  
• Find a unique way to accomplish a task.
  
• Find time for reflection and downtime.
  
• Expose yourself to art, music or nature in a greater way.
  
• Find a creative community of kindred spirits and connect with it often.
  
• Hire a coach to support you, both in starting and finishing your project.
  
• Hire an assistant for the tedious tasks related to your art to free you up to do what you do best.
  
• Take a retreat day.
  
• Journal.
  

For support in unleashing your creativity, click here to schedule a FREE, first-time consultation.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”--
Albert Einstein

“Thinking outside the box might be facilitated by having a somewhat less intact box.” –
Frederick Ullen
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The square pegs in round holes. The ones who see things differently.”--
Apple Ad, 1997

(“Are People with ADHD More Creative?”- Gawrilow and Gondarzi, sientificamerican.com)

You don’t have to be Irish to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, because on St. Patrick’s Day everyone is Irish! This is true, whether you are cooking corned beef and cabbage, baking Irish soda bread, wearing green, watching an Irish movie, or going to see the Chicago River dyed green! Images of leprechauns, shillelaghs, four-leaf clovers, and a pot of gold all come to mind! You might even see Irish step dancers or join in a song, such as “When Irish Eyes are Smiling!”
 
Sometimes our eyes are not smiling when we’re struggling with the challenges related to living with ADHD! We might be overwhelmed by our own ADHD, not to mention our children’s struggles piled on top.
 
When emotion overwhelms us, the “smart” part of our brain goes offline. The prefrontal cortex disengages, and our feelings run the show. We can’t think straight! This usually happens when we are under stress or feel threatened. The neurons in the brain stem put us into survival mode, and they move the body into a state of “fight, flight, or freeze.” The brain must react in a split second, deciding how to protect itself by either attacking, running away, or playing dead.
 
The part of our brain that regulates emotions doesn’t know the difference between a tiger chasing us or an upcoming presentation for work. It detects fear and kicks our body into high gear, flooding every cell with cortisol and adrenaline.
 
The best way out? Slow, deep breathing. Also called diaphragmatic breathing, belly breathing is the best way to shift our focus away from the stressor. Fresh oxygen helps bring the logical part of the brain back online and gets us to a place where we can think again.  
 
Dr. Dan Siegel devised a model using the hand to demonstrate what happens when to your brain when you are under stress.  It is called “The Flip Your Lid Model” *
 
What is Belly Breathing?
Belly breathing involves taking deep breaths that engage your abdomen as well as your chest. The diaphragm is a dome-shaped respiratory muscle under the rib cage. It does its greatest work when you take a breath. When you breathe deeply, the diaphragm contracts, so your lungs can expand into the extra space, letting in as much air as necessary.
 
How does deep breathing help with stress?
Inhaling brings oxygen to the body and to the brain. When you exhale, you trigger a relaxation response. This response calms down the parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the body’s ability to relax. When we focus on the rhythm of our breathing, we stop focusing on the stressor.
 
How do you practice deep breathing?
The best way to practice deep breathing is to lie in bed or on the floor. When you take a deep breath, you will notice that your belly moves toward the ceiling as you fill with air.  When you exhale, your belly will move naturally toward your spine or the floor. You can inhale through your noise and exhale through your mouth.
 
Three things to remember:

1. Breathe slowly
2. Breathe deeply
3. Exhale longer than you inhale

 
What are the benefits of deep breathing?

• Your heart, lungs, and blood vessels work more efficiently at delivering oxygen to the body’s tissues and the brain. The brain, though only 2% of the body in size, uses 20% of the body’s oxygen, according to Marten Nedergaard, MD, in the Journal, Neuron.
• Your brain waves change frequency, generating fewer sleepy delta waves and more healthy alpha waves.
• You are calmer, better able to make decisions and experience less frustration.
• You can relax with a calm mind and body.
• You lower your heart rate.
• You lower your blood pressure.
• You improve core stability.
• You can improve symptoms of anxiety and PTSD.

 
What will happen if I breathe deeply and sing, too? 
There are numerous studies that have focused on the health benefits of singing. You don’t have to be a pop star or an opera singer, either. Singing in your car or the shower qualifies! Check out this article to learn 11 amazing benefits of singing.
 
On this St. Patrick’s Day, put the excellent tool of deep breathing—and even singing—into your ADHD toolbox. Take a deep breath and belt out a tune! Irish or not, your eyes (and the rest of you) will be smiling!
 
For strength-based support, check out the fee resources at ADD Joy of Life Coaching.
 
Additional Resources

• Video: Dan Siegel’s Hand Model of the Brain
• How Deep Breathing Opens Up the ADHD Brain
• Just Breathe: Diaphragmatic Breathing for ADHD
• 11 Amazing Benefits of Singing That You May Not Know

                                                                   www.addjoyoflife.com

The Best Valentine is the One You Give Yourself…Especially When You Have ADHD...
 
February is the month that we think about love as we celebrate Valentine’s Day.  What if we were to give ourselves some of that love?

I have often joked that I must have a hole in my head as a person with ADHD. If truth be told, I might add that I have also felt at times as if I had a hole in my heart!
 
I overheard a conversation between a wonderful little girl I know and Santa this past December. When Santa asked if she had been a good girl this year, she said “no.” It hurt to hear this special, talented, and kind child respond in this way, because of how she viewed herself due to her struggle with ADHD-related challenges. The greatest side effect of ADHD is the loss of self-esteem!
 
Why do we feel like second-class citizens, unworthy and undeserving, as people with ADHD?
 
The Title of ADHD
Our shame may start with the disorder’s name. The title “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder” is less than stellar. Who wants to identify with a disorder that has deficit in its title? According to psychiatrists Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, people with ADHD don’t have a deficit of attention, but rather a surplus of attention. The problem is controlling it. At its heart, ADHD is a disorder of self-regulation. Hallowell and Ratey are working to change the title to “Variable Attention Stimulus Trait,” or VAST. 
 
We Define Ourselves by the Challenges we Face
We might believe that the disorder comprises our identity. It’s important to remember that you HAVE ADHD; you are NOT ADHD. Big difference! Yes, you have ADHD and it needs to be treated to have a good life, but it is not your sum and total. This is the disability perspective.
 
Someone once said to me: “You are so organized.” I thought to myself, “If they only knew!” Was I organized? Yes. Was it hard for me? Yes! Shouldn’t I get even more credit for doing something that was difficult?
 
The more we are on top of our ADHD, the better our life becomes. ADHD gets smaller and we get bigger. ADHD does not define us.
 
We Retain Negative Messages
Many of us have heard the same messages repeatedly as we struggled with the challenges associated with ADHD, especially in school: “Behave. Stop talking. Sit down. Sit still. Pay attention. Try harder!” to name just a few. One client was accused of not paying attention in class because he was making origami figures while the teacher was speaking. She called on him repeatedly, and each time he answered accurately because using his hands while listening helped him to focus. We know that fidgeting while sitting still increases neurotransmitters in much the same way as stimulant medications do. (“The Body-Brain Connection: How Fidgeting Sharpens Focus,” by Roland Rotz, Ph.D., and Sarah Wright)
 
The Lack of Knowledge about ADHD
We have often heard ignorant statements regarding the reality of ADHD, even though ADHD is one of the most researched areas in mental health. It is acknowledged by the Institute of Mental Health, American Psychological Association, and the Department of Education. (“Is ADHD Even Real: How to Respond to Haters and Naysayers,” by Deborah Carpenter.)
 
The Brain Doesn’t Have a Wheelchair
The struggles we face with ADHD are due to cognitive challenges that are not seen by the naked eye. If you were in a wheelchair or had a bandage on your arm you would receive sympathy and understanding. The cognitive impairments we experience are significant and impact everyday functioning. Just because others can’t see the front of your brain doesn’t mean that the impairment isn’t real. (“The Brain Doesn’t Have a Wheelchair”)
 
Lack of Knowing and Leveraging Strengths
What are you good at? The best advice for people with ADHD is to do what you are good at and hire out or get help for the rest. You never go wrong when you follow the strength trail. 
 
There are several indicators of a strength. There is fast learning. You yearn to do it. It is easily acknowledged by others. You want to develop it. It is steady and consistent. It gives you confidence, and it brings you a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.
 
It is very important to acknowledge strengths as you tackle challenges. Strengths, in fact, can be leveraged against the challenges. Not everything is ADHD. We have distinctive preferences as individuals, based on our unique personalities. 
 
A wonderful free assessment I like to do with all clients is the VIA Character Survey. It gives you your top 5 character strengths, which are not performance based. It is free at www.viacharacter.org.
 
Get Treatment: The Best is Yet to Come!
How does your ADHD get in the way? What exactly is the tool or strategy to manage it?  The more dialed in you are, the more of the real you can show up.  Having skills is empowering, as opposed to feeling out of control. You can do this!
 
People with ADHD have the biggest hearts in the world. Find a lovely red heart and put in somewhere in plain sight. Be your own Valentine, because the best Valentine is the one that you give yourself!
 
For partnership in building your personal toolbox, set up a free consultation.
 
“The crux of the ADHD journey has as much to do with letting go of the false beliefs you have about yourself as it does with adding tools and strategies.”
--“A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD,” by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

​A few years ago I heard actress Jessica McCabe, YouTube sensation, speak in St. Louis. Host of the YouTube channel, How to ADHD, Jessica’s weekly program teaches children and adults tips and techniques for managing ADHD in a funny, fast-paced, ADHD-friendly way!

Diagnosed with ADHD as a child, Jessica grew up with excellent supports her mother put in place. As a young adult, the budding actress began to flounder, unable to keep a job or manage many of the responsibilities of adult life. She couldn’t seem to remember her lines. Plus, her agent told her she was too big and needed to lose 10 pounds.

When Jessica crossed paths with a life coach, a defining moment happened. When she relayed her agent had told her “you need to be smaller,” the coach simply said to her: “You need to be bigger.”

With tears running down her face, Jessica said, “when you create space for yourself, you create space for others.” And that’s exactly what Jessica did in launching her YouTube career. In making herself vulnerable, she forged a connection with countless others in the ADHD community who suffer, bringing hope. You can hear Jessica’s story in a TED talk, “Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story.”

Here are a few questions for you (and me) to ponder as we start the new year:

• Where are you “living small”?
• In what area of your life might you live larger?
• What would “living larger” look like?
• What risk are you willing to take?
• Who or what can support you as you step forward?
• For whom can you create space?

Most of us are playing it safe in some part of our lives. Maybe there’s one thing that you have always wanted to try. It might be bravely stepping forward to get an ADHD diagnosis. Or creating boundaries with family members who don’t believe that ADHD is real. It might look like doing that one thing you are afraid to do. Every step forward strengthens your game, making the next challenge easier. Our own vulnerability can connect us with others. Join me in making this new year our largest yet!

Need support in living larger or creating space for YOU? Contact me today for a free consultation.

I recently saw a story on Good Morning America about a man who started a gym for paraplegics. Wesley Hamilton, founder of Disabled But Not Really, survived a shooting that left him paralyzed from the waist down. Hamilton’s goal is to inspire people with paraplegia, helping those in the disabled community to achieve healthier bodies, minds and lives.

Hamilton was awarded a $1 million gift by the Craig H. Neilsen Foundation, a California-based organization that supports programs and research that helps people with spinal cord injuries.

In his Good Morning America interview Hamilton stated, “the man who shot me meant me to die, but instead he gave me a whole new life.” He went on to say, “I am living my purpose, and everybody is seeing that you must follow your dreams despite the circumstances that happen to you.”

The Impact of the Diagnosis

Receiving an ADHD diagnosis can rock your world. For some, it brings a sense of shame. For others, there is a feeling of relief because it explains so much. Those diagnosed as children have a very different experience than those diagnosed later in life.

There are those who call ADHD a gift. People with ADHD can be incredibly creative, can hyper focus and brainstorm better than most people. ADHD also comes with daily challenges, such as managing time, following through, planning, organizing, and managing tasks at home or at work.

The Real Gift of ADHD

The real gift of ADHD is that we are forced to understand how we roll. Most of us have incredible daily coping strategies, even if we haven’t seen them as such. The neurotypical population tends to be sequential in their approach to tackling tasks.  People with ADHD tend to create solutions in a way that works for their unique brain wiring. The flexible thinking required has been called lateral thinking.

Thinking Outside of the Box

I have heard many clients share creative solutions to their challenges over the year. Check out these examples of ADHD creativity in action:

Paper problems: A road warrior struggled to do paperwork for his job, until he bought a car desk. Now, his desk goes along for the ride.

Messy mats: A momma who wanted her car to stay clean replaced her mats with Astro turf. It worked, plus it made her feet feel good!

Superstore solution: A woman who felt overwhelmed when out shopping now orders groceries online and has them delivered.

Cleaning help: A client who struggled with clutter was able to clean her house as long as she was talking to a friend on the phone.

Child’s play: One mom who tired of leaving things behind began bringing her kid’s supplies to playdates in a wash basket, so she could see what she had.

Office supplies: A businessman who felt fidgety during meetings now plays with a Think Ink pen or a spinner ring in order to focus while seated.

White space: One businesswoman who found herself too distracted at home to do important paperwork now stays overnight in a hotel, so she can complete her bill-work in a distraction-free environment.

Memory through movement: A woman who wanted to remember phone numbers found that she could recall them if she created a series of dance steps.

Shower power: A person who often had great ideas while showering began using Aqua Notes to capture them.

Super speller: A student with poor spelling grades now aces spelling tests, because he takes them standing up.

Oral ability: Another student finally passed history class, once his teacher let him test orally.

Sensory stickers: One client found that touching Velcro or Calm Strips allows him to focus better when seated in school.

Calming clothing: An anxious person began wearing compression shirts and pants in order to keep calm.

Soothing touch: A lady who loves snow improves focus by running her fingers through snow dough.

Musical memory: A student memorizes facts for tests by singing them to a familiar melody, like Old MacDonald.

Background sound: One of my clients listens to broadcasts in Chinese when she studies, so she isn’t distracted by the words. (She doesn’t speak Chinese.)
 
What Does it Take for You to be Successful?

The challenges of ADHD can be converted into incredible self-knowledge! What if ADHD becomes the vehicle for us to truly understand ourselves and what we need?

What is in your ADHD toolbox?

How can your strengths lead you forward to new heights?

With the right support, individuals with ADHD can be as successful as anyone else.  Let’s not define ourselves by the challenges! Once ADHD is managed, it gets smaller, and your life gets way bigger.  

Once you embrace the diagnosis, all things are possible! Is ADHD a gift? No. The gift is what we discover about ourselves that can lead us forward.
 
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” - Helen Keller
“Conventionality is the refuge of a stagnant mind”- Alexandra Townsend

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