Priorities! Why Is It So Hard to Stick to Them—Especially with ADHD?

Recently, we explored how to discover priorities using Stephen Covey’s jar concept. It’s a powerful visual for understanding how to focus on what matters most. But why is it so difficult to implement in everyday life?

The definition of priority is: “A fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important.”

For those of us with ADHD, this is where the struggle begins. Everything can feel equally important—even when it’s not! Canadian humorist Stephen Leacock perfectly describes this experience through a character who “flung himself on a horse and rode madly off in all directions.”

So, what makes prioritizing so challenging for people with ADHD?

Obstacles to Prioritizing with ADHD

Here are some common hurdles faced by individuals with ADHD when trying to prioritize:

1. Selecting Tasks

It’s hard to filter through everything on our to-do list and identify what’s most important, especially in the moment.

2. Dopamine and Motivation
Dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical of motivation, plays a big role. We tend to seek excitement and stimulation, which makes it difficult to focus on less engaging or more challenging tasks.

3. Executive Function Challenges
ADHD impacts executive functioning—the brain’s ability to plan, organize, prioritize, and break tasks into manageable steps.

4. Time Blindness
We often struggle to “see” time. Hours can slip away until we’re suddenly stressed and scrambling to meet deadlines.

5. Lack of Planning
Without a set plan or schedule, it’s easy to get distracted by whatever grabs our attention in the moment.

6. Overwhelm
Taking on too much or striving for perfection can lead to shut-downs, making even small steps feel impossible.

7. ADHD Traits
We tend to be reactionary rather than intentional. Even with inattentive ADHD, our minds can feel restless, constantly jumping to the next thing.

8. Lack of Personal Boundaries
Someone else’s needs often feel more urgent than our own, making it hard to stay focused on our priorities (unless it’s an emergency).

9. Emotional Regulation
Every task carries an emotional tag. Some tasks feel too big, too overwhelming, or outright impossible. Frustration with ourselves can quickly spiral into negative thinking patterns that hold us back.

10. Procrastination
Dr. Russell Barkley coined the term “Procrastivity” to describe a unique ADHD struggle:

• “A combination of procrastination and activity. People with ADHD are always busy but never seem to make progress on life’s goals.”

• Or: “Knowing what you need to do but being unable to do it, so you keep busy with less critical tasks.”

Why We Choose Easier Tasks Over Important Ones

We often gravitate toward easier, less important tasks because:

1. Physical Tasks Are Simpler
   They’re easier to jump into than cognitively challenging tasks.

2. Familiarity Feels Comfortable
   Tasks we’ve done many times are routinized and don’t require much thought.

3. Predictable Timelines
   Simple, repeatable tasks (e.g., folding laundry) have clear start and end points, unlike complex or unfamiliar projects (e.g., creating a PowerPoint presentation).

4. Defined Progress
   Small tasks provide clear progress markers, whereas larger, undefined tasks can feel overwhelming and endless.

1. Physical Tasks Are Simpler
   They’re easier to jump into than cognitively challenging tasks.

2. Familiarity Feels Comfortable
   Tasks we’ve done many times are routinized and don’t require much thought.

3. Predictable Timelines
   Simple, repeatable tasks (e.g., folding laundry) have clear start and end points, unlike complex or unfamiliar projects (e.g., creating a PowerPoint presentation).

4. Defined Progress
   Small tasks provide clear progress markers, whereas larger, undefined tasks can feel overwhelming and endless.

Prioritizing Tips for People with ADHD

Here are some strategies to overcome the challenges of prioritizing with ADHD:

1. Use Step-by-Step Directions

Breaking down complicated tasks into smaller, actionable steps makes them feel more manageable.

2. Set Time Limits

Commit to working on a task for a set amount of time. Knowing it won’t last forever can make it easier to start.

3. Define Start and End Points

Clearly outline what “done” looks like for each step. This creates a sense of progress and accomplishment.

Barkley’s Questions for Task Management

Dr. Russell Barkley suggests asking yourself these four questions to stay on track:

1. When will you start?

2. What will you do if you’re interrupted?

3. How long will your break be?

4. How will you re-engage with the task?

The Role of CBT in Improving Prioritization

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an effective tool for people with ADHD. Barkley emphasizes the importance of CBT for reframing negative self-perceptions and addressing challenges like procrastination.

CBT can help you:

• Develop coping strategies.

• Manage negative expectations and emotions.

• Analyze behavioral patterns that interfere with prioritization.

This type of “brain training” is particularly valuable in a neurotypical world that often misunderstands ADHD struggles.

You Can Prioritize and Succeed!

At its core, ADHD is a struggle with executive function and self-regulation—but that doesn’t mean you can’t reach your goals. With ADHD-friendly support and strategies, you can learn to prioritize, take action, and achieve lasting success.

For support in discovering, prioritizing, and breaking down your goals, click here to schedule a session.

Resources

• “Why the ADHD Brain Chooses the Less Important Task: How CBT Improves Prioritization Skills” – Russell Barkley, PhD (ADDitude Magazine)