Why Adults with ADHD Struggle with Imposter Syndrome and What Helps

Have you ever felt that you are not good enough, smart enough or that you couldn’t do enough? Someone compliments you and you think, “if they only knew”! You question how capable you really are in spite of your achievements. At times you feel like an actor playing a role! This is imposter syndrome.

ADHD Imposter Syndrome

Did you know that people with ADHD experience higher rates of imposter syndrome? We struggle in a world not suited to our brain wiring and often feel like a square peg in a round hole. It’s not that we don’t know what to do, it’s actually doing what we know to do! The slightest error proves that we are flawed.

We compare ourselves to our neurotypical peers and come up lacking. Sharon Saline, PsyD. coined this phrase, “Compare and Despair”! She goes on to say:

“It’s the pain of feeling different in a world not in line with your brain.You underestimate your value and the importance to the people in your life. Something is wrong and it’s your fault.”

“ADHD imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling of being a fraud, or not good enough, combined with self-doubt about your true capabilities, even when you have clear evidence of your success.”

How does ADHD trigger Imposter Syndrome?

• Inconsistency: Executive functioning challenges can cause focus and productivity to fluctuate. Others may say, ‘I saw you get something done the other day, why can’t you get this thing done?’ The perceptions of others plus your own self-criticism makes it hard to trust yourself.

• Masking: You work twice as hard as anyone else around you to stay on top of things, and are the last one to leave the office. Because certain things take so long you feel flawed, not wanting anyone else to know. Success can feel accidental.

“Any moment of imperfection proves you’re not as intelligent as you thought you were, and others will know that you are masquerading as a competent person.”

-Saline

• Forgetfulness: You forget all of your successes and only dwell and ruminate on mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, ADHD or not.

• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): RSD is the intense emotional reaction to perceived or real criticism, and the fear of being ‘found out’. People with ADHD experience emotion in an intense way and have a harder time regulating their emotion.

• Self-esteem Issues and Negative Messaging: The greatest side effect of ADHD is a lack of self-confidence and it starts with the word ‘deficit’. We don’t have a lack of attention as we can hyperfocus like no one we know. Our attention however is variable. The real question is ‘where is our attention going?’

  
  Many people with ADHD have heard statements like ‘you’re lazy,’ or ‘you could do it if you would just brave up.’ You can’t see what is going on in the brain by looking at a person with ADHD. The brain doesn’t have a wheelchair.

• Perfectionism: There is an illusion with perfectionism that we can control the outcome of something. We can do a ‘perfect’ job with one thing and spend so much time in doing it that we drop the ball on other things. Good and turned in is better than perfect and late. It’s about progress, not perfection.

• Doubting the ADHD Diagnosis: You may doubt yourself and question the diagnosis. Do I really have ADHD or am I not trying hard enough? Most of us have tried very hard. It’s not about trying harder, it’s trying differently!

“If you’ve ever thought to yourself, maybe it’s not ADHD; maybe I’m just not trying hard enough, you’re not the only one”

- Zula Stevens

How Can We Beat Imposter Syndrome?

• Discover and embrace your strengths. You can’t focus on challenges without also acknowledging strengths. You can leverage the power of your strengths against the challenges of ADHD.

• Celebrate each success and write it down, not matter how small. Make it real.

• Reframe your perspective. ADHD is not a character flaw; it is a unique brain wiring. The more you manage your ADHD, the more empowered you become!

• ADHD is not an intelligence deficit. Did you know that there is an official ADHD Special Interest Group (SIG) within American Mensa? Many areas of giftedness merge with neurodivergence. To become a part of Mensa, you must score in the top 2% on an approved proctored intelligence test.

• If something goes wrong, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault.

• Challenge the negative voice in your head. Ask yourself, ‘is this thought serving me?’. If not, replace it with another!

• Accept compliments and act ‘as if.’ Fake it till you make it. You can grow into a new self-image. Surround yourself with positive people.

• Be self-compassionate. Honor the fact that ADHD touches every area of life.

• Find a provider who is strength-based and who really understands ADHD. You can find a provider by state on the CHADD website, (children and adults with ADHD) and ADDA (adults with ADHD).

Challenge imposter syndrome. You don’t have to believe everything you think! Acknowledge all the steps you are taking to manage a neuro-developmental disorder. Dealing with ADHD on a regular basis is exhausting. Remember that you are working hard and the struggle is real. You have owned your ADHD, now own your success!

For support in managing challenges owning strengths, click here.

Resources

• ADHD Imposter Syndrome- You are Enough: How to Counteract ADHD Imposter Syndrome- Sharon Saline, PsyD, www.additudemag.com

• ADHD and Imposter Syndrome- Fighting the Felling That You are Never Enough- Beth Levine, www.adhdonline.com

• Imposter Syndrome: Why You Feel Like a Fraud Despite Your Success- ADHD GP Telehealth, www.adhdgp.an

“Feeling like an imposter is an aspect of living with ADHD that no one discusses: a core sense of inadequacy.”

-Saline